Part of what makes this so hard is . . . well, there are a lot of parts to it. Part of it is a feeling of helplessness in the face of something as overwhelming as HIV/AIDS. Another part of it is the fact that I've not been touched as personally as many others who have written services and prayers before me. Another part is my normal stage-fright: the fear that nothing I say is going to come out right, or that it'll sound like a bunch of bull coming from me.
Only in a very minor way are things like the last-minute nature of this service and the incorporation of a meal into the middle of it parts of the difficulty.
There are causes I want to be part of: AIDS, Pride, and the Prop 8 protests are some examples of what I have been getting myself involved in over the past year as clergy. I've become somewhat involved where I could, but I'm seriously dissatisfied with the attention that I pay to these things which are so vital to me.
I remember when I realized that to get things done in ADF, I was going to have to do a good chunk of them. When we want to see change, we can't let others make change for us. We have to go out and secure it on our own.
I want to spend more time this next year on these projects and develop them in a deeper way. I just have to prioritize the time. And make the effort.