January 11th, 2011
|04:23 pm - Ritual Studies comes to the Liturgy Meetings|
Last night, I finally received the draft of the Ritual Studies Journal I put together for the Grove. It looks nice, it's got plenty of space for omen-keeping, and it's got the essential writing-prompts that I want to make use of built in. Plus, it has my drawings of different ritual configurations (based on my "Theatre for Ritual" studies) so that I can explain things with a bit more visual information.
I experimented with a lower quality of paper for this book in order to keep the price low, and it seems to have worked out alright. There are some priting mishaps on the paper, but generally speaking, everything is legible and appears to work just fine. The thing I was most concerned with was the durability of the book: I want people using these for about a year, and one can put a lot of wear-and-tear on a book over the course of a year if you're dragging it to outdoor rituals and writing about your omens and experiences. So far, so good, though: I think it will hold up nicely.
Our liturgy meetings have generally been about the upcoming ritual, but I've come around to the notion that we shouldn't focus on "the next rite" so much as on "ensuring the practice."
Let me explain:
You might think of High Days, rites of passage, and other major rituals as "desserts." Yes, you could live off those alone, but imagine getting "enough to eat" from cheesecake alone, and you see the issue: "special" and "seasonal" rites must be the treats and the joy of our lives, not the staples: they are no longer as sweet if they are all we eat, after all.
What, then, provides the staple of our religious selves? That is the meditation, daily prayer, and devotional work that we do. Our morning prayers are our eggs, toast, and bacon; our afternoon mediations are our chips and sandwich; and our evening devotional rites are our steak and potatoes. These are the things that feed our souls, not the sugary treats we often enjoy.
Keeping up the daily rites, the moderate worship, and the mindful prayer ensures that the "special" rites remain special. I would be willing to argue that if the High Days have lost their lustre in your life, you likely aren't keeping up with the daily work you know you should be doing.
At our last ritual (Rivros), I asked a simple question before assigning parts: "Who has done work at their shrine in the past week?" Only 4 people raised their hands, and I gave the parts to those people. . . for they had been practicing. It didn't matter that they had not been practicing the specific part I gave them, or that they hadn't finished their DP, or that there were other people who had more experience than they did. What mattered is that they weren't depending on the experience provided by the Grove to get their work in. They weren't interested in *only* eating cheesecake. . . they also wanted rice and beans so that when they had the cheesecake, it tasted sweet.
They could, through their experience of the sweetness, pass it along to others.
And that is what a good ritualist does.
So, the liturgy meetings will begin to become more about the staples than about the desserts. Sure, we'll still talk about the upcoming High Day, but the liturgy meetings will involve practice more than talk. We will learn about the ritual process by doing it rather than by letting it settle upon us and rot our spiritual teeth.
At least, that's the aim.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: "Ballad of Spider John", -JB
I had to talk some of this out with my wife, so sorry for the delay on some of this. Much of what I posted above to tanwyn
is true, so I'll try not to re-hash it, though much of it applies here, too.
The first and most important part of that, of course, is the apology I posted above for mis-speaking. So let me re-hash that: I misspoke, and I did so in deep error, clearly, and did not convey my intent in any way correctly.
I should mention, too, that I actually am not familiar with the term "triggering" as anything more than a vaguely descriptive term, somewhat akin to what happens when you set off a trap in Dungeons and Dragons
: I am unfamiliar with any clinical definition that it may refer to. I am also, admittedly, completely unaware of what causes triggering, and what I can do to avoid causing triggering in the future. It is simply not something I am aware of enough to resolve, either in the near term or the long term. I had Maggie try and explain it to me, but I have trouble wrapping my mind around what it means, to be honest.
What worries me about this is that while I understand that "trigger" = "bad," I do not understand a way to avoid causing a trigger response in you. I think it takes a deeper understanding of you and/or your sister than I currently have, but even with such an understanding, I am not sure I would be able to avoid it.
So, since posting this, and receiving your response, I've been working on ways to remedy the situation from my end with the future in mind. What worries me is that there may not be a way to remedy it entirely. This has also led me to question how much I can help when a trigger occurs and I am responsible for it going off: by not knowing the cause, I wonder if I can do anything effective about the outcome. Not knowing if I can even be of help if I screw the pooch is a bit uncomfortable, but understanding that discomfort through reflection is the only way I think I have to remain effective.
So, again, I'm sorry that my words cut. Again, they were not intended to cut, and weren't even intended to be those words, technically.
|Date:||February 3rd, 2011 10:20 pm (UTC)|| |
I'm sure he will want to reply to this as well when he gets home, but I wanted to go ahead and respond as well. I have read your comment to him, and he asks me to convey both his thanks and a bit of an apology... as far as the triggering response, you didn't do anything wrong. Something as simple as someone wearing a certain color shirt or a certain smell can be a triggering event, so it's not something that you have any real control over and isn't something to feel bad about.
I wanted to talk a little bit about triggering in the hopes that perhaps I can lend you some understanding of what we're talking about when we talk about triggers. Your D&D example is actually surprisingly apt. When something triggers us, it reminds us of something from the past and reactivates the feelings and experiences of that past event. To give an example, if I am cold or wet I will start to feel that the walls are closing in on me. My visual field will start to fade. Eventually, it can get to the point that I actually feel that I am cold, wet and enclosed in a box.... the event that being cold and wet reminds me of.
So, when you mispoke, it reminded J of some bad experiences he's had in the past with the cult he was once part of. This triggered what is called an emotional flashback. Rather than physically feeling the event, like in my example with the box flashback, he was flooded with the emotions of that past event.
Trying to avoid triggers, while admirable, isn't really a realistic goal. J and I know each other so well it literally feels like we are inside of each other's heads sometimes, and we still manage to trigger each other. I think a better goal is to learn how to deal with said triggers constructively. I think you are off to a great start as far as learning to deal with them. Hell, you've calmed *me* down after a number of them. The key here is open dialogue and keeping channels of communication clear. You can't help if you don't know what's happening.
Okay, I've rambled quite a bit more than I meant to, but if you want to talk about this further grab one of us next time we are up, or just call. :)
Also, I do want to let you know that what happened wasn't really a contributing factor to his current inpatient stay. A lot of other things have been going on that we haven't been journaling, soo... yeah. *hugs*