It was my turn to recite and rededicate myself to my clergy oath in a ritual at Wellspring. Others had gone first, and I was somewhere in the middle of the pack.
First, Karen was going to take my oath, so she asked Leesa to find a copy of the Satanic Bible for me to swear on. Leesa found one at The Magical Druid shop, but everyone balked when Seamus insist it be paid for. There was some amusing price haggling.
Fortunately, I had sent Jan to get the Grove sickle, and it was there for me to swear on, so that was used instead. Some folks seemed disheartened, but I was happy the Shop made a sale.
When I got up there, I blanked on the words (as I type this, the words come easily to mind). Funny thing: everyone else seemed to have blanked as well.
Kirk tried to help. I riffed on the oath for a while, making it sort of sound like an expansion on the original. Kirk would whisper a line to me, but so quietly I could not hear it, so I plowed ahead with my extemporaneous oath, trying to get him to speak up.
Then, when I gave up and asked him directly, he blanked, too!
Skip tried to help by reminding me that Gwen wrote it, and it was only two lines. This reminded Ian that knowing this fact probably wouldn't help, because that just meant it was bad poetry, and thus hard to remember.
Someone had a copy of the oath in Gaelic, and I tried to speak it in Gaelic from Kirk's (clearly incorrect, but I was trying anything at this point) pronunciation guidance, but half of it was in runes, so he could not help me pronounce that part. I tried to transliterate it, but it got really complicated when it became clear it was not a "standard" runic alphabet, but one from an inscription.
Someone produced a poorly-translated omen written down from another ritual that matched the oath as if it had been garbled by Google Translate, replacing "fire" with "burnination," "water" with "coffee," and "blessings" with "raining men." We tried to translate it back into actual English to offer the oath, but were unable (likely because fire, water, and blessings are not part of the oath).
The omen gave me an idea: I had ministered the oath to others several times, so I opened my pouch hoping to find a copy. There was a lot of paperwork in there that does not belong (receipts and such) in a ritual bag, and several snippets of ritual work that were not at all the oath I needed to recite.
Others began rifling through their ritual bags as well. Drum thought he had found a copy written on an orange pill bottle he used for offerings. He handed it to me with a smile, saying "Who's your daddy?" But it was a prescription to aid pooping. It had the word "pooping" written in florid doctor-scrawl on it.
A couple of people looked genuinely pained at the antics going on, and especially pained for me, but didn't have anything to offer to help: Caryn, Nancy, and Sue all did their best to lend moral support with sympathetic gazes.
Drum got into a group off to the side with G.R., Rowen, and a few others, and started reciting a new oath they had written to be more poetic. I am not sure if it was supposed to be a serious contender or not.
"I shall not skin cats to turn them into dragons, or otherwise desecrate them," the group spoke in unison. I looked over at Mel, who said I should check out the reactions of other priests to the list of things being suggested for this new oath. The group continued with the new oath, but annoyingly, this is where I woke up.
For reference the oath is (the oath a Senior Priest speaks does not include the last line):