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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

December 24th, 2003

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01:10 pm - Ritual work. . .
Rituals I need to revise/write in the near future:

1) revamp the Buffett Ritual to include Cheeseburgers and actual singing (note: instead of opening the Gates, open the Tiki Bar)

2) the Muppet Liturgy (Statler and Waldorf as "Outdwellers")

3) the Stripper Liturgy (thanks to vampyrecandy [and her bro] for the idea) . . . (mental note: discuss whether strippers on poles would be better gatekeepers, or better axis mundi, and check whether anyone in ADF has skills that would be useful for helping out) . . . (mental note 2: try not to sound like a sexist pig for suggesting that)

4) the OSU-M*ch*g*n Game Blessing Rite (this will require new "vestments")

5) a run-of-the-mill Imbolc Rite for the Grove

6) a Sumbel for the Grove

7) another Erisian ritual (avoid using giant Golden Apples this time)

8) Ziiace foundation rite

9) one Black Mass, to go. No, I don't want fries with that.

On a totally unrelated note, I just realised that the SD of our Grove has the power to delegate out the Pursewarden or Scribe jobs if they become vacant. . . I think. I need to look at the By-Laws again.

Oh. I just got this in email (seems a lot of unrelated things are occuring here today). Some of you may know the subject of this particular article:

Pagans and Porn

An exerpt:

"Stacy Bartley, 46, of Ravenwood, W.Va., was arrested Dec. 1 and charged in Hamilton County with four counts of aggravated arson, charges carrying a maximum penalty of 36 years in prison."

It's a disturbing article.
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: "Everybody's Talkin'", -JB

(13 comments Leave a comment)


Date:December 24th, 2003 06:50 pm (UTC)
Does that mean that Lew the muppet who threw fish, is Mannannan? And what role will Gonzo and his chickens play?

Saw the article, very biased and uneducated journalist.

As for the buffett ritual, will parrot hats be required? And if I and my partner wish to get drunk and screw, will a room be provided?

[User Picture]
Date:December 24th, 2003 07:02 pm (UTC)
I haven't managed to post the pictures from last year's Buffett ritual yet, but you can tell I'm the priest in the ritual: I have the funny hat. It's a giant parrot.

I haven't fully thought through the Muppet Liturgy yet. I need to do some research by watching old Muppet Show episodes.
Date:December 24th, 2003 07:46 pm (UTC)
Pick my brain, I remember most of them...
[User Picture]
Date:December 24th, 2003 08:06 pm (UTC)
Heh. Perhaps I will :)
Date:December 24th, 2003 07:20 pm (UTC)
I used to be a stipper.
I know you're probably shocked aren't you?
[User Picture]
Date:December 24th, 2003 07:28 pm (UTC)
Hehe. Not at all. From my understanding, they come from all walks of life, and there's not really a "stripper type".

Of course, I've never been to a strip club. I think I need to do some "research" on that, too.

I'll be at Kahoots if you need me.
[User Picture]
Date:December 24th, 2003 10:35 pm (UTC)
I have to ask... what is a Stripper Liturgy?

[User Picture]
Date:December 26th, 2003 04:11 am (UTC)
I haven't really gotten that far yet, but the comment was made to the effect that more people would go to church if there were strippers on poles, and (I tend to think outside the circle when it comes to liturgy anyway) I quickly decided that I really, really needed to work strippers on poles into a liturgy somehow. Then it was, "Well, hell! I'll just make a whole stripper liturgy!"
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:December 26th, 2003 04:08 am (UTC)
1 - rock! Might be just who I need :)

2 - Yes, I believe it is.
[User Picture]
Date:December 25th, 2003 01:28 am (UTC)
Stacy did a workshop at Cincy PPD two years ago on Pagan Ethics. I met him and his former -- very young -- girlfriend. Pagans sure do have a way of making the rest of the community look like total idiots.

And people wonder why I am becoming a crusty old Reconstructionist...because of idiots like Bartley...
[User Picture]
Date:December 26th, 2003 04:33 am (UTC)
He used to do that workshop quite often. I wondered about his "qualifications" from time to time (never thought he really had "ethics" in him, personally), but it was a gut feeling, never an action or anything he did that "proved" it to me. So I kept my mouth shut.

Probably was better for me in the long run. I've seen the laundry list of people he seems to have left in his wake. . .
[User Picture]
Date:December 25th, 2003 09:53 pm (UTC)
Sent a letter to the editor. let's see what happens . . .
[User Picture]
Date:December 29th, 2003 02:54 pm (UTC)

Jake the Cabbage!!!

By the power vested in me as an ordained Pope of the PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. I, Ratatosk, Squirrel of Dicord, Chatterer of the Words of Eris, Muncher of the ChaoAcorn, declare that Kimball Perry must be Jaked! Let us try to awaken this poor little cabbage, let us lighten his countanence, instead of his ugly Greyface. Let us take the poor Hunchbrain by his ears and thrust him bodily into the Land of Thud, in hopes that he will become enlightened. We must change his reality tunnels, awaken his dead brain and reach out and touch his Pineal Gland.

Jake Him! Jake Him! Jake Him!

What is a jake, you ask?

A jake is the proper way for Discordians (and any other cool people, as long as they accept that Discordianism is a non-prophet group for tax purposes), to expand the consciousness of idiots like poor Newsperson Perry. Find the most bizzare conscious altering information you can and mail it to him on Jan 5, 2004. January 5th is important since it obeys the law of fives (which says "given enough creativity on the part of the interperter, everything relates to 5"). It is also the wholy holiday of Mungday in rememberance of St. Hung Mung whose name means Primal Chaos, the Sagew of Ancient China, inventor of the Sacred Chao, Official Missionary to the Heathens, leader of Operation Mindfuck and patron of the season of Chaos (the first season on the Discordian Calender).

I recommend any published works by the Church of the SubGenius http://www.subgenius.com/ . Also any of the Wholy Writings of Eris K. Discordia in the Principia Discordia. Writings by other Discordians sometimes prove interesting. Strange optical Illusions, the number 42, anything you can think of.


Feel free to find or make up your own special mail. However, send it all on the 5th with NO return address to:

Kimball Perry
c/o The Cincinnati Post
125 East Court St.
Cincinnati, Ohio 45202

To close I will speak the sacred words of the Turkey Curse which will ward us all against such greyfaced hunchbrains, all together now:


Ratatosk, Squirrel of Discord and Other Stuff

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