Oh wow! That was good. I'm not surprised though. :) I am, however, wanting more. . .

(Reply) (Thread)

More?

Exactly *how* do you want "more?"

:)

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Open ended questions like that are just going to get you into trouble. :)

Seriously though, in *this* case I was specifically wanting the story to continue. For example, perhaps more of his adventures between the first encounter and the writing of the letter. You have a good narrative style and reasonable character development, which is good considering the inherent limitations of the short story for character development. It was an engaging read and I was loathe for it to end. Thus the wanting more. . .

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I refuse to get into trouble. Wait, no I don't. . . I rather like it, actually. . .

I thought about opening it up, but I felt that it would develop the character too much, and I prefer the simplicity of knowing time has elapsed (needs to be clearer) between the incident and the letter. I do have to mention that he got a *new* bible, though.

I *could* expand it (and I've thought about it), but I think it's more effective in its short form.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

What about instead of expanding the existing story, writing further seperate short stories involving the same character?


(you want trouble, I got your trouble with a capital 'T')

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Honestly, I think he's *really* a one-shot character. He's not going to end up in the next story I write.

But we'll have to see. After all, once you create them, there is only so much you can do to keep them down.

Oh, there also might be illustrations if I get around to it. . .

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I also think it lends itself to further short stories in the future.... Or maybe they could be more like chapters in a book, with this as the beginning of how he gets involved. It could be really good - a book that really goes into the mystical/shamanic aspect of Christianity - the side of it that most people don't see or know about. Heheh - a book on Christian shamanism. *grin*

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

*grins* But you see, I know nothing of the mystical or shamanic aspects of Christianity. In fact, not a single thing.

Now, Jewish mysticism I know something about.

*grins* there's no real message to the story, at least none intended. I wrote it because it was trying very hard to get out.

*laughs* But I could never write a book on Christian Shamanism. . . Unless someone was going to pay me $300/weekend to give classes on it, too.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

But, you see. You DO know something about mysticism, or you couldn't have written this story. I don't care if it is Jewish mysticism, discordianism, druidry, or christian mysticism. It still has certain elements to it.

Personally, I think christian shamanism has a nice ring to it. I'll bet you could get $300/weekend for workshops in that easily. *grin*

BTW - would love to hear more about some of what you know on jewish mysticism (knowing a bit of that myself).

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Hm. Is the ending a little different? I like the part about being a shield of Faith. :)

(Reply) (Thread)

Nope, no changes since you saw it :)

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

*snapping fingers, beat-style*

i like it! get down with your bad self. :)

(Reply) (Thread)

*laughs* Thanks! Though I'm not sure where the "beat" came from :)

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

I liked it :).

(Reply) (Thread)

I'm glad :) It was fun.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)