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March 2nd, 2004


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12:17 pm - A story!
Bored? Need something to do?

I have a new story, written when mlleelizabeth told me I should write a short story.

Enjoy:

The Missionary

Lemme know what you think. It hasn't been really edited (an edited version might occur later), but I like it. I pretty well wrote it a sentence at a time while waiting for A/R to load at work, and occasionally whole paragraphs in the evenings! It was fun to write.
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: "In the Shelter", -JB
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(15 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:perlgirlju
Date:March 2nd, 2004 09:48 am (UTC)
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Oh wow! That was good. I'm not surprised though. :) I am, however, wanting more. . .
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 09:49 am (UTC)
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More?

Exactly *how* do you want "more?"

:)
From:perlgirlju
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:17 am (UTC)
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Open ended questions like that are just going to get you into trouble. :)

Seriously though, in *this* case I was specifically wanting the story to continue. For example, perhaps more of his adventures between the first encounter and the writing of the letter. You have a good narrative style and reasonable character development, which is good considering the inherent limitations of the short story for character development. It was an engaging read and I was loathe for it to end. Thus the wanting more. . .
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)
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I refuse to get into trouble. Wait, no I don't. . . I rather like it, actually. . .

I thought about opening it up, but I felt that it would develop the character too much, and I prefer the simplicity of knowing time has elapsed (needs to be clearer) between the incident and the letter. I do have to mention that he got a *new* bible, though.

I *could* expand it (and I've thought about it), but I think it's more effective in its short form.
From:perlgirlju
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:25 am (UTC)
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What about instead of expanding the existing story, writing further seperate short stories involving the same character?


(you want trouble, I got your trouble with a capital 'T')
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:36 am (UTC)
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Honestly, I think he's *really* a one-shot character. He's not going to end up in the next story I write.

But we'll have to see. After all, once you create them, there is only so much you can do to keep them down.

Oh, there also might be illustrations if I get around to it. . .
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From:qorinda
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:37 am (UTC)
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I also think it lends itself to further short stories in the future.... Or maybe they could be more like chapters in a book, with this as the beginning of how he gets involved. It could be really good - a book that really goes into the mystical/shamanic aspect of Christianity - the side of it that most people don't see or know about. Heheh - a book on Christian shamanism. *grin*
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:43 am (UTC)
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*grins* But you see, I know nothing of the mystical or shamanic aspects of Christianity. In fact, not a single thing.

Now, Jewish mysticism I know something about.

*grins* there's no real message to the story, at least none intended. I wrote it because it was trying very hard to get out.

*laughs* But I could never write a book on Christian Shamanism. . . Unless someone was going to pay me $300/weekend to give classes on it, too.
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From:qorinda
Date:March 2nd, 2004 11:02 am (UTC)
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But, you see. You DO know something about mysticism, or you couldn't have written this story. I don't care if it is Jewish mysticism, discordianism, druidry, or christian mysticism. It still has certain elements to it.

Personally, I think christian shamanism has a nice ring to it. I'll bet you could get $300/weekend for workshops in that easily. *grin*

BTW - would love to hear more about some of what you know on jewish mysticism (knowing a bit of that myself).
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From:qorinda
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:21 am (UTC)
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Hm. Is the ending a little different? I like the part about being a shield of Faith. :)
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:23 am (UTC)
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Nope, no changes since you saw it :)
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From:rhiannon76
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:50 am (UTC)
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*snapping fingers, beat-style*

i like it! get down with your bad self. :)
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 11:00 am (UTC)
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*laughs* Thanks! Though I'm not sure where the "beat" came from :)
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From:hearthstone
Date:March 2nd, 2004 10:51 am (UTC)
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I liked it :).
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 2nd, 2004 11:01 am (UTC)
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I'm glad :) It was fun.

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