March 2nd, 2004
|12:17 pm - A story!|
Bored? Need something to do?
I have a new story, written when mlleelizabeth told me I should write a short story.
Lemme know what you think. It hasn't been really edited (an edited version might occur later), but I like it. I pretty well wrote it a sentence at a time while waiting for A/R to load at work, and occasionally whole paragraphs in the evenings! It was fun to write.
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: "In the Shelter", -JB
Oh wow! That was good. I'm not surprised though. :) I am, however, wanting more. . .
Exactly *how* do you want "more?"
Open ended questions like that are just going to get you into trouble. :)
Seriously though, in *this* case I was specifically wanting the story to continue. For example, perhaps more of his adventures between the first encounter and the writing of the letter. You have a good narrative style and reasonable character development, which is good considering the inherent limitations of the short story for character development. It was an engaging read and I was loathe for it to end. Thus the wanting more. . .
I refuse to get into trouble. Wait, no I don't. . . I rather like it, actually. . .
I thought about opening it up, but I felt that it would develop the character too much, and I prefer the simplicity of knowing time has elapsed (needs to be clearer) between the incident and the letter. I do have to mention that he got a *new* bible, though.
I *could* expand it (and I've thought about it), but I think it's more effective in its short form.
What about instead of expanding the existing story, writing further seperate short stories involving the same character?
(you want trouble, I got your trouble with a capital 'T')
Honestly, I think he's *really* a one-shot character. He's not going to end up in the next story I write.
But we'll have to see. After all, once you create them, there is only so much you can do to keep them down.
Oh, there also might be illustrations if I get around to it. . .
|Date:||March 2nd, 2004 10:37 am (UTC)|| |
I also think it lends itself to further short stories in the future.... Or maybe they could be more like chapters in a book, with this as the beginning of how he gets involved. It could be really good - a book that really goes into the mystical/shamanic aspect of Christianity - the side of it that most people don't see or know about. Heheh - a book on Christian shamanism. *grin*
*grins* But you see, I know nothing of the mystical or shamanic aspects of Christianity. In fact, not a single thing.
Now, Jewish mysticism I know something about.
*grins* there's no real message to the story, at least none intended. I wrote it because it was trying very hard to get out.
*laughs* But I could never write a book on Christian Shamanism. . . Unless someone was going to pay me $300/weekend to give classes on it, too.
|Date:||March 2nd, 2004 11:02 am (UTC)|| |
But, you see. You DO know something about mysticism, or you couldn't have written this story. I don't care if it is Jewish mysticism, discordianism, druidry, or christian mysticism. It still has certain elements to it.
Personally, I think christian shamanism has a nice ring to it. I'll bet you could get $300/weekend for workshops in that easily. *grin*
BTW - would love to hear more about some of what you know on jewish mysticism (knowing a bit of that myself).
|Date:||March 2nd, 2004 10:21 am (UTC)|| |
Hm. Is the ending a little different? I like the part about being a shield of Faith. :)
Nope, no changes since you saw it :)
*snapping fingers, beat-style*
i like it! get down with your bad self. :)
*laughs* Thanks! Though I'm not sure where the "beat" came from :)