Chronarchy (chronarchy) wrote,

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Today I feel like Norman Paperman.

I woke up this morning to my boys and the girl playing "Hop on Pop". What fun that was. But the highlight of my morning was the radio.

CD101 was trying to salute St. Patrick's Day, so they decided to put on some Irish music.

They played "Scotland the Brave".

I couldn't stop laughing.

Of all the holidays out there, I celebrate this one least. I don't pretend to be Irish, and I don't drink green beer. (Beer is pretty disgusting without being, of all things, green!)

Of course, I don't go out of my way to be contrary. I'm not wearing (God forbid!) orange or anything satanic like that. I'm not professing an allergy to drunks and children (which are the only two kinds of people who seem to be able to properly celebrate today).

Instead, I'm quietly showing my apathy by carefully refusing to wear a stitch of green.

Instead, I'm wearing my favourite Hawaiian shirt. I mean, we're under 2-3 inches of snow here in Columbus, so why not? I'm hoping that, by wearing the clothes I am, that the weather will turn to suit them.

So far, it seems to be working. The sun is out, and I swear I heard the birds singing this morning.

So all is not stupid on this St. Patrick's Day.

Well, except for the green beer, the people wearing shamrocks, the "leprechaun hunts", the "kiss me I'm Irish" buttons, the top hats, the four-leafed clovers (which always remind me of Who Framed Roger Rabbit), the people who are anti-Irish every day of the year *except* today, the Pagans who get all in a tizzy about "bringing back the snakes" or some shit like that, and the parade that shuts down half the town.

Otherwise, it's all peachy.


One of my favourite St. Pat's Day stories is of the group that dyes the Chicago River green every year. See, Dublin (the one in Ireland, not the one north of Columbus, OH, where Wendy's is headquartered) asked them to come over and dye one of their rivers green for SPD. The agreed, of course, and the next SPD, they were over there with their barrels of dye.

Well, the dye works by reacting with the water, not by being just a bunch of green. The interesting thing is, it's not green at all when it goes in. Guess what colour it is?

Oh, come on. You know. What is the one colour the crazy Irish would be shocked at?

Yep. The dye is orange.

Horror of horrors.

Well, anyway, the Irish people saw the orange being dumped into the water and were furious, at least until it started to change colour.
Tags: paperman, pets, st. pats day

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