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So, what do you *really* think? - Chronarchy

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April 6th, 2004


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10:50 am - So, what do you *really* think?
I'd like to invite everyone to do this particular exercise.

Please post a comment on this entry. The comment should be anonymous and 100% true. I request that the comment deal either with our relationship, something you actually think about me, a question you've never had the guts to ask, or something that annoys you.

I swear that I will make no attempt to figure out who wrote what.

Please look over your answer before you submit, and make sure that you've hit the button for "anonymous". Any comments logged with a username will be deleted without being read.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: "Railroad Lady", -JB
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(38 comments Leave a comment)

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From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 08:01 am (UTC)
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You're incredibly sweet and so devoted to your faith. I'm really impressed with that in one so young. Nice legs, too.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:10 pm (UTC)
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Nice legs, too

Thank you.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 08:08 am (UTC)
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You do a fair amount of astrology, and fixate on hot dogs without the bun.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:08 pm (UTC)
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fixate on hot dogs without the bun

For the record, only on 6 out of 7 days.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 08:08 am (UTC)
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a.) you're smart
b.) you're cute
c.) you're talented in your faith
d.) you're actually the reason I'm in ADF, but it's a long story you don't know.
e.) you make me blush.
f.) I can see you becoming fairly important in the future.

I'm not sure what else to add. And dammit, you're taken!
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:10 pm (UTC)
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t's a long story you don't know

One of these days I'd like to hear it.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 08:22 am (UTC)
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I really don't know what to ask or say. I haven't been reading your lj long enough to be annoyed by anything. I'll think today and see if I can come up with something by tonight.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:11 pm (UTC)
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I'll think today and see if I can come up with something

Try hard, cuz I'm sure there's something I do :)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 08:32 am (UTC)
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I hope you aspire to be Chief Druid someday.
I sometimes think you have a fear of commitment.
Do you like Eris? Would you have chosen her without her help?
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:18 pm (UTC)
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Do you like Eris?

Well, *that's* a loaded question.

I like to think that we have an understanding, a relationship. She chose me, and I fought it. She knows that. But still, She demands an equal share of the time I give to my Deities, and especially my Patrons. She won't settle for less than half.

But, honestly, I wouldn't trade Her for anything. Not even a mint-condition Zeus with foil hologram.

Would you have chosen her without her help?

No. Never in a million years.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 08:49 am (UTC)

I think

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I think you have found a way to teeter endlessly on that fragile line between childhood and adulthood. That is both a blessing and a curse. I also think you should watch before you flirt...hearts are being broken.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:19 pm (UTC)

Re: I think

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"The difference between him and the other boys at such a time was that they knew it was make-believe, while to him make-believe and true were exactly the same thing."
-Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 09:19 am (UTC)

Okay, I'll play anonymously...*

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...even though I like to think I'd say these things to your face anyway. In no particular order:

1. It's been great to watch your boundless enthusiasm, but I worry that you'll burn out. You do not have to do everything...and you certainly don't have to do it now.

2. I remember hearing somebody a few years ago say, "In your 20s, you figure you know everything. In your 30s, you worry when people are going to figure out you don't know what you're doing. In your 40s, you finally learn that it doesn't matter." Try to give older people -- and less risk-tolerant people -- a little credit for knowing what they're talking about, even if they disagree with you. Your way, while interesting and perhaps well-debated, is not always going to be the best (even allowing for the whole "everyone's got a right to their own way" thing).

3. I hope we'll know each other a long time, and think that your respect could come to mean a great deal to me.

4. I don't care if I never get to see your legs. And that has nothing to do with age.

*A gift to the person who can guess who this is and email me privately.

[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:29 pm (UTC)

Re: Okay, I'll play anonymously...*

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I worry that you'll burn out

Haha. I made the mistake of telling Anthony (ADF's Webmaster) that I didn't know how people got burned out, and so he subscribed me to several other lists. I'm an office elf, too.

Thing is, I know how full my plate is, and I always eat what I take. I cut back on things and I don't feel guilty if I can't do something. I just admit it, or I come back when I have time. At this point, I would not make a good leader on the (inter)national level of ADF, because there is just too much on my plate.

In your 40s, you finally learn that it doesn't matter

Shit, I'm gettin' old, then :) I realized a few years ago that nothing really matters (cue Freddy Mercury). But I'm the first to admit that I don't know everything, and I'd hate to think that I messed up and couldn't honestly say: "Well, geez. I screwed up. What the hell was I thinking? Dude, you're right, and I was wrong."

Maybe I should make that a .sig line?

I don't care if I never get to see your legs

I'd have never been fond of them, but people keep telling me they're nice. I didn't know that guys had "nice legs" until Tina started talking about them.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 09:39 am (UTC)
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well I think our relationship has dwindled of late.. both of us being busy and all that..

A question I've never had the guts to ask? I usually speak my mind pretty plainly that's the trouble of it isn't it?

I guess what annoys me the most would be that you have a tendency to seem as though you float through life at times.. I can admire that to an extent, but it annoys the shit out of me too.. I mean something has to get to you at some point. But you never seem to lose it. That should be seen as a virtue though right? I'd just like to see you 'affected' by your environment at least once.. maybe that sounds petty though..
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:32 pm (UTC)
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I'd just like to see you 'affected' by your environment at least once

Lots of people want to see that. I should sell tickets.

But really, I know how to cool off. I spent 3 years answering phones for tech support, and 3 years now dealing with the stupidest people on the planet (customers), so I know how to deal with them.

Add to this that I'm 80% non-confrontational, and tend to underreact to *everything*, and you have a recipie for relaxation.

Situations never blow up. When they do, I just deal with them.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 11:42 am (UTC)
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I barely knew who you were beyond someone who posted on the ADF lists, until a mutual friend started telling me how wonderful they thought you are. Then I started paying attention, and I agree.

I know you are a flirt, and of course I find you nice looking, but I'm really much more interested in your intelligence and dedication and what you have to offer to ADF. I do see you as a future leader of the organization.

On a personal level, as I get to know you, I am a little curious about the moodiness I see sneaking in every now and then, which makes me wonder about the rest of your life - besides the one you present on lj. I am sure there is much more to it and I have an interest in things like that.

I am hoping that we can be good friends in the months and years to come.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:39 pm (UTC)
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I am sure there is much more to it and I have an interest in things like that.

Alright. Prepare yourselves for my darkest, deepest thoughts. The next four weeks of journal entries will discuss child sacrifice in my devotion to Kali; the anger and rage I feel at my job; and my proclivites for various bits of illegal porn. My posts in week 5 will be from the county jail.

:)

I don't know. I really have no idea if I'm a differnet person than what I present here on LJ or not. I talk, I tell stories, I keep people on their toes just enough so that they still think I'm interesting. And I fish for compliments.

So, yeah. I dunno. Maybe I am moody in real life. I don't feel like it, though.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 12:01 pm (UTC)
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I'm increasingly impressed with your commitment to your spiritual practices-- both to your personal observances and to ADF. The amount of time I see you give to helping people with questions, engaging in thoughtful discussions, and working to improve ADF's training resources speaks volumes of your dedication and motivation. And I very much appreciate your sense of humor, particularly as you apply it to spiritual settings; I think it's important not to separate the sublime/divine from the fun/funny.

I'm curious, though, about the person behind the online/public face. We all have parts of ourselves that we try to hide, and you present such a successful, committed exterior that I occasionally wonder what's there that you don't want to show. I also wonder about your current intensity towards your paths, and whether/when you'll burn out from that. Beyond that, I'm curious as to what drives you so strongly towards leadership.

I'm not sure that I have much of a sense of who you are outside of the Buffett-loving Discordian Druid. Then again, it's not as if we're very close, so I'm pretty much just seeing the surface.

And sorry to say, but I can't bloody stand Buffett. ;)
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:55 pm (UTC)
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I'm curious as to what drives you so strongly towards leadership.

I dunno. I've always been shocked when people call me a good leader. I'm never sure I am. In fact, I usually think I'm really lacking in that department.

But I also know that I do the stuff I say I'm gonna do, and I've realized that, sometimes, you can't depend on others to do what they need to do. The old adage: "if you want it done, do it yourself," rings true occasionally. I could list "for instances," but I'm not going to. It'd be rude, and generally insulting.

whether/when you'll burn out

I addressed burnout above, I think.

The amount of time I see you give to helping people with questions, engaging in thoughtful discussions, and working to improve ADF's training resources speaks volumes of your dedication and motivation.

This is what I love to do. I live for it, one might say.

Buffett-loving Discordian Druid

I like to think that that's really about all I am. Or, would be, if you tossed in a few unsavory words like: rogue, scoundrel, and flirt.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC)
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I know it's just a meme and all, but now I'm curious as to what you plan to do with these comments. Inward reflection? Go "huh, that's interesting, oooh look a shiny thing!"? Something in between?
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 12:59 pm (UTC)
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*grins* a meme implies I got it from somewhere else. No, I just wanted to get some real, true opinions. It's a good way to see my own flaws (and charms) from someone else's eyes.

As for what I plan to do? Answer any questions. Read the comments and consider them, at least so far as how they apply to me. Try to get a more honest view of myself. Try to open myself to a bit more criticism to keep the ego in check, and a few more compliments to float it along.

Really, it's always important to remember that the stuff you hear in your head is not always the same thing everyone else hears. That's the essence of what I'm trying to uncover.

(If it was, I'd so have a singing career!)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:09 pm (UTC)
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I can't think of anything bad to say about you (and I did search my head for something, just so I wouldn't have to be cliche and say "he's nice" to start out with).

Perhaps the worst thing (and even then it's not bad) about you is that I can't figure you out. I hate that. Putting people into nice neat boxes makes life so much easier.

I can always count on you for a laugh, a random comment, and support if I really need it.

You're not someone who I would take advantage of (in fact you are one of the few I would go out of my way *not* to take advantage of).

I admire your courage in posting this, I'm not sure that I'd have the balls.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:57 pm (UTC)
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I can't figure you out

I like it that way. Shows I'm more than just a lop-sided grin and a pair of beautiful blue eyes.

you are one of the few I would go out of my way *not* to take advantage of

Aw, but being taken advantage of would be nice sometimes! Especially if it's being done in a *good* way :)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 01:18 pm (UTC)

Comments and meta-comments

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Firstly, I do think you're a fantastic person with often-brilliant and always-clever ideas. However I wonder at times, like others here apparently, if you are not 'cloaked' in a façade of bubbling enthusiasm. You're 24, and I remember 24 very well, so it's hard to say if it's hormonal, personality-based, or actually genuine. It gives the impression of an illusion, however ephemeral and inaccurate that may be. Just FYI.

In addition, I cannot help stepping outside myself and looking at your journal from Tina's (potential) perspective. She doesn't have an LJ and doesn't read yours, as far as you know. However there are very few mentions of your girlfriend here, and a lot of flirting with others (which you've explained adequately to those who you're flirting with, but to her?). Lately there seems to be an undercurrent of frustration between you and her, and I would hate to see her have her feelings hurt by something unintentionally said or not said. This is said in the spirit of friendship, albeit anonymously as you requested.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:April 6th, 2004 02:25 pm (UTC)

Re: Comments and meta-comments

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I wonder at times, like others here apparently, if you are not 'cloaked' in a façade of bubbling enthusiasm.

I was really hoping I had you guys fooled. Things here are going to hell in a handbasket, and let me tell you, it's freaking cramped in here. (Apparently Charon also packs his lunch in this basket. His ham sandwich has French cheese! Do you know how bad it smells in here?)

Nah. I really don't have too much to complain about. In general, I'm a happy guy who enjoys life and doesn't let shit get him down. I have things that help with that (from Eris to Buffett), and I know what to do when things go wrong.

*grins* I'd just hope that a person couldn't keep it up for a year if it wasn't genuine :) Of course, I believe I've always been like this, but I know it isn't true. I don't have issues with depression, or any other psychological disorder (thank the Gods). I've had only good experiences in my life, really. There are one or two things that have happened that I wish never did, but honestly, I can't change them now, so why dwell on them.

She doesn't have an LJ and doesn't read yours, as far as you know.

Yeah. She expressed a bit of interest when I mentioned I had one (it's certainly not hidden, it just never came up), but so far as I know, she's never looked at it.

If she did, she'd see what you guys see. I don't want to pretend that I'm someone else just for her sake, and she knows I'm a flirt. She also knows that I don't mean anything by it.

Plus, I have 75 LJ friends who would tell her I didn't mean anything by it, don't I? If I haven't pounded it into your mind by now, I'm not doing my job :)

As for the number of mentions I make of Tina, there are some parts of my life either she isn't interested in being a part of, or she hasn't decided to let me know she's interested. In those sectors of my life, I don't talk about her or discuss her, because she simply doesn't apply. She usually isn't important to the conversation, really. I've only occasionally needed to use her in defense if a woman was getting to fresh, at which point I drop the girlfriend card.

Lately there seems to be an undercurrent of frustration between you and her

Yes, there is. But it's not something that's in our control. She's been working 12 hour days, and doesn't get overtime. Basically, her job sucks and she's having issues with the vet over her cat, too. She's kinda frustrated with life right now, and that turns into frustration in our relationship. But I don't believe that the ship is sinking, nor do I imagine that these issues will really hurt our relationship.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 6th, 2004 03:23 pm (UTC)
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Well Mike, this is a very interesting exercise. I'd steal it from you, but then you'd know who I am.

When I was your age, I didn't know how people could suffer from burn out, either. But it happens. Not a burn out from serving your Gods, but a burn out dealing with the other assholes who do the same thing. While I have always admired your spirit and your ability to get things done, I do worry that you are sailing along at too fast a clip. Keep in mind that you don't have to save the world.

When it comes to love and happieness, I worry about you the most. I honestly don't feel that your girl is the one for you. I see a lot of myself in you, and I know that you love to love. I know you want to be a family man, and by your own admission, she'll never give that to you. This is one area where I hope I am around when you finally spread your wings, and embrace the fullness and richness of what love can be. I'm sure your girl is good to you, but I don't think she's right for you.
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From:chronarchy
Date:April 7th, 2004 08:15 am (UTC)
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I do worry that you are sailing along at too fast a clip.

My second year at Boy Scout camp, a friend and I were learning to sail. It was one of those small sail boats. One person could sail it if he wanted to, but we were in this together. We got out into the lake and we raised the sail.

Neither Adam nor I had any experience with a sail. We didn't read the how-to manuals, and this was well before I'd ever read a high-seas adventure. I knew, effectively, nothing of sailing.

But when that sail caught the wind, we were off. Despite it being a calm day, the sail seemed to move in the wind with no problems. I lead the line for the sail, and Adam worked the rudder.

We gathered speed on a straight run with the wind for about a minute, and then realized that if we kept going in one direction, we'd eventually hit sand (or another boat). After a short shouted argument, I gave Adam the okay to hit the rudder and turn us around while I pulled in the sail.

Adam turned the rudder sharp to the right, and the boat began to rise out of the water. We ducked the sail and quickly threw our weight to the high side, at this point riding almost vertically in the water. Imagine the sail skimming the water, and two boys clinging to the side of the boat, and you'll see what the slack-jaws on the beach saw that day.

Our weight eventually brought the boat back down to the water, and we sailed back in the direction we came, grinning ear to ear. We passed the docs at a good clip, going just as fast into the wind as we were running with it, and decided to try again. The wind whipped the sail back, but we were already on the left side of the boat, high above the water, riding it around the sharp curve.

We stayed on the lake an hour or two, waving at the kids on the beach, laughing at the sunlight on the water, and shifting from side to side, just out of reach of those hungry waves that slapped the boat's sides.

When we finally brought it in, one of our Assistant Scoutmasters, Tim, came up to us. He said he'd been watching for the past half hour, and asked us if we'd managed to stay afloat the whole time sailing like that.

"Sailing like what?" I asked.

"Well, every time you guys would make a turn, I'd see the sail nearly hit the water, and these two little swimsuit-clad butts scurry to the dry side of the boat. Didn't they teach you how to turn in your merit badge?"

"Merit badge? We aren't in a merit badge. We've never even seen a sailboat before," said Adam, a bit puzzled. "Are we supposed to do it different?"

"Well," said Tim, "I guess not. You're both still dry."

I'm sure your girl is good to you, but I don't think she's right for you.

I've considered that, of course. At the moment, I think she's right. But then, love *is* blind :)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 7th, 2004 09:05 am (UTC)

Fatal Attraction?

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Good gods, man. Do you have a stalker?

Seriously, read back in one sitting across all the posts that have been left here. Several of them really look as if they've been posted anonymously by the same person. They've all got the same basic theme: you don't deserve your girlfriend/your girlfriend doesn't deserve you/you don't know what love is BUT I CAN SHOW YOU (implicit subtext capitalized for effect).

Sounds almost like somebody's got an agenda and they're using this exercise of yours to help promote it.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:April 7th, 2004 10:04 am (UTC)

Re: Fatal Attraction?

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*grins* I like a good bit of mystery :)

I'm kind of unwilling to look at the styles and try to compare the composition of the entries, because I *did* say that I wouldn't try to figure out who's posting here (and those who posted with a username accidentally or on purpose know I was serious).

However, if I do have a stalker, 1) I hope she's hot, 2) I hope he doesn't mind when I reaffirm my straightness, 3) I hope the person can eventually move on.

But really, I don't worry much at all about that. If I ever have had a stalker, they must be giving up before becoming obnoxious, cuz I've never actually had a run-in with one.

And, for the record, I'm not *that* good looking. There are other fish in the sea who don't already have a hook in their mouth, too :) Just a friendly reminder to all you stalker-types out there.

I'll consider myself warned anyway. The first step in avoiding a trap is knowing it's there, after all.

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